One of my favorite self-empowering tools is the knowledge that life can be greatly manipulated by how I chose to shift and reword my questions. I’m not speaking of what I ask others (though there’s an obvious importance on that front) it’s the internalized ones which have had the most influence throughout my lifetime. There’s a dangerous generalized belief that there is no such thing as a bad question. Those who feel this is some sort of rock solid truth are highly misinformed. Social media is crammed with videos documenting the consequences of people having asked bad questions. The ensuing all too often catastrophic outcomes of thousands of people acting upon bad decisions is abundant proof. Unfortunately my own history has reflected some dumb, unhealthy, and downright self-destructive questions too, not the least of which was “Why not just get drunk every day?” While this may sound made up, I assure you I really did ask myself that one. Not only that, I have a vivid memory of where and when it happened. Self-talk is insanely powerful, and I’ve found by experience that what I consider doing, either with focus, or more likely from a subconscious footing, I will more than likely act upon eventually.

I’ve already covered this topic a few times, but there’s two specific questions I’ve yet to address, and I feel they are heavyweight contenders for how to stay focused and grounded in life. If we keep ourselves on track for clear and worthy goals, then our actions and behaviors will automatically align with manifesting our intent. Here is the first question –

“If you knew you had only one hour to live, felt good, and weren’t scared, what would you do?”

I know that no one out there would say “I need to get to the bank, mow the lawn, or finish my laundry.” Neither would they get out their luggage and fill it with as many valuables as they could so they could be prepared for what happens next, just in case. When I’ve asked this question of others, and yes, I’ve asked it a lot, I’ve heard two, and only two serious answers. The first answer is rare and commendable. On occasion someone will say they would spend the time alone in silence, prayer, and gratitude. This is indeed an honorable and noteworthy exit, but it’s not my choice. Mine aligns with the majority, and it sounds something like this – “I would make a few phone calls to thank and say goodbye to those who have meant the most to me in my life, and the rest of the time I would spend reminiscing with and holding the person I Love the most.”

The importance of this question, and the resulting answer, is that it forces us to realize what in life has true importance. To die with wonderful memories and Loving relationships is really the only goal which has value. To reach the end and know we have been of humble service, leaving behind a world that is better than we found it, is the greatest gift we can give ourselves. There are of course a great many who live selfish, self-centered lives, but when they face the end the only conclusion they can come to is that it was all for naught. A lifetime of nothing but egocentric accumulation will never translate into currency that pays for going out peacefully and magnanimously.

The second question follows up neatly with the first, and it’s a bit more specific when it comes to refining a lifelong mission. It can be stated two ways and they are –

“What would you like your friends an acquaintances to say about you after you die?”

Or another way to put it would be –

“In one sentence, what would you want written on your tombstone?”

I have to say if I could look into the future and witness my colleagues talking about me after I had died, and the best thing they had to say was “Man, he sure had a nice car!” (or something akin to that shallow of an observation) I’d be mortified. In other words, if my legacy was nothing but material in nature, I would know I had failed to live up to my ethics and principles.

I do indeed have a vision of what I would want on my tombstone, and it really sums up the underlying energy that pushes and guides me.

“Here lies a man whose enthusiasm refused to die.”

In the end we are only as good as the changes we’ve left behind.

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With Love and compassion,

Daniel Andrew Lockwood