Communication

39. TAKE A STAND

N. Hill

The group of people I avoid the most are the ones who ride the fence of life. They’re pretty much okay with  everything and will take sides with anyone standing next to them. There’s no passion, no drive, no heart behind their actions. I don’t dislike them, I simply am drawn to those who have a desire to change the world. What you really might find strange about me is that I’m attracted to those who have opinions and ideas that are opposed to what I am moving toward because at least these people are also walking a path of firm decision. And who’s to say I’m right anyway? I would never look for a fight or even want to debate them, but there’s something envious about someone who is absolutely devoted and focused to the task they have chosen. This might explain why we (if you would allow me to project just a little here) have a fascination with figures who have almost wrecked our planet. No need for names, but it’s quite clear that staring into the fire of infamy can be seductive. It also explains why we  revere and honor those who have (almost always) sacrificed their lives in the name of what they believe in. We look to these people and have a tendency to tip our hat first to “who they were” before we acknowledge “what they did.” I have no problem with that, it’s a good thing. All of us seek role models if we are looking to cultivate our inner flame.

I haven’t promoted any literature yet (other than eluding towards the Big Book and 12 steps) but it’s time I did. A book was released in 1937 that became the standard by which all similar texts have since tried to emulate. It’s called “Think and Grow Rich” by Napoleon Hill. It reads in an antiquated style, but the information is spot on. The title is purposely misleading; it’s NOT about money. It’s about fueling the fire within and never letting naysayers affect it. Personally I prefer the audio version as it won’t allow me to skip or casually skim over certain parts. I’ve gone through it several times and always walk away with more information and more conviction.

There are some suggestions I would like to add in relationship to my own experiences.

First- Be vigilante in standing for something rather than against anything. There’s a HUGE difference here. When we fight we grow weaker, when we promote we grow stronger. I will not waste my energy on trying to defeat the opposition because that takes time away from creating what I want. If I focus on tearing down rather than building up, is that not counter productive?

Second- Let “you” be the biggest reason anyone would want to get behind whatever it is you’re trying to achieve. When we shove ideas into other people’s faces they are almost always defensive, even if they think the idea has some merit. Why? It’s because there’s no reason to invest in it, and most people don’t want to risk a loss; especially without a sales pitch. IF you sell yourself, your enthusiasm, your energy, your  dedication, then they will want to align with that, and that means believing in what you believe in. Whenever I talk to people I get captivated audiences EVERY TIME. If I were to approach people meekly and do nothing but ask them to read what I’ve written I may as well be handing out free toilet paper samples, wouldn’t make any difference.

Third– Don’t do anything for money, power, fame, or other material gain. Do it because you MUST. Do it because if you don’t, you will live a life of regret for never having tried. Do it because your inner voice is pushing you to take dreams and turn them into reality. We all carry a vessel inside from birth that needs filling, and the only way to do it is to follow your desires. If you knew that what you envision now will someday actually happen, what would you endure today? Few step over that line and as a result they never learn how to overcome their fears.

One last thing to point out; I think it’s less painful to stand in front of our dreams than behind them. When we pull, those we meet see us first. When we push those who are in the way simply move over. If we slip while pulling, we may fall, but if we slip while we are pushing, our load just might move backwards and crush us. It’s an easy metaphor to envision and hard to get out of the mind. We must take a stand in front of our beliefs, not behind them. Become what you believe in.

I believe in you, and I will stand in front of that for the rest of my life.

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With Love and Compassion, Daniel Andrew Lockwood

25. ALL THE WORLD IS A MIRROR…

thinker (2)

I once met a man who acted exactly like me and I couldn’t stand him. This is the God’s honest truth. As I stood there slack-jawed, watching this person complain, blame, and throw a tantrum, I was both amused and horrified. His behavior was not just disruptive to his own agenda, it was interfering with the duties of those around him. As he flailed about it dawned upon me that all of his energy was being used on the opposite of what he said he wanted; getting the job done. I was a year and a half past my most self destructive behavior when this happened, and I was grateful for having witnessed it. I’d never been so stunned in my life. I was this man; selfish, self-centered, and looking for excuses in my environment that could perpetuate my behavior. I felt sick. I also felt fortunate.

Do I really feel we see ourselves in others? Yes. There is a way to use this observation to  great advantage, and it’s probably not what you think it is. Most people don’t want to openly admit their mistakes or flaws, preferring instead to keep a mental note of what not to repeat should similar situations arise. Fair enough, though the benefits of humility, trust, and respect will flourish when one is quick to admit error to those it has inconvenienced. Since it is rather painful to look at what annoys us the most and try to find that part of ourselves that aligns with what needs purged, I would suggest an entirely different path. Look instead to everyone around you and seek out what is good, beautiful, perfect, and pleasant. In turn you will subconsciously elevate those same qualities in yourself. There is no need to evaluate the “bad” in others when observing the “good” will benefit you more. Don’t get me wrong, just as the beginning of this essay pointed out, I was glad to discover what needed changed. I think it’s easy to see that if I were to be in  constant (negative) judgment, and then go on to justify this state of mind by announcing that I was in search of myself, my ego would simply take over and I would revert to thinking I couldn’t be nearly as “broken” as those I was witness to.

Do not the best of us also see nothing but the best in others? Do not the most negative see nothing but an imperfect and broken world? Think about that for a moment. History has its examples just as our own families and colleagues provide theirs. Consider this, I believe that redemption is available to the worst of us; because if it isn’t available to the worst of us, then is isn’t available to any of us. What this means to me is that there is good in everyone, and I mean EVERYONE. The harder we look for it in others the more we must express it in our own lives. This practice lends itself to a life of love, tolerance, forgiveness, compassion, and empathy.  All of man’s struggles seem to arise from the absence of these five qualities. Let’s not let the opposite determine our actions..

With Love and Compassion, Daniel Andrew Lockwood

http://dailypost.wordpress.com/dp_writing_challenge/worlds-colliding/

22. PLEASE FORGIVE ME…..

My apologies for not posting in a few weeks. I had pneumonia  all of September and now a root canal today (after a week of tooth pain) so the bumpy road will smooth out soon and I’ll feel up to sharing again. Don’t give up on me, I never will on you….

8. MY FAVORITE BUMPER STICKER

Sunset_2007-1

I had this bumper sticker printed up years ago and handed them out for free to anyone willing to take one. While it still makes me laugh, I also consider it a very important question.  It’s a little like hearing someone complain about whiners. Not only are they joining in with the same crowd they are trying to distance themselves from, now they’re center stage. I think this is why we should “Love thine enemy as thyself.”

If tolerance is what we want to project, are we not obligated to turn this attitude towards those who receive it the least? When mankind experiences pain somewhere in its “body” shouldn’t this demand care and healing? We seem to point towards what isn’t working in our society and do our best to fight it rather than help it. We praise that which is already doing well and insult what isn’t functioning properly. In my opinion this attitude is destructive and immoral.

No one wants to be around a hypocrite. People that do this are fooling themselves into believing that by putting everyone else down, they don’t have to work at doing anything to look good. We witness this unethical “sleight-of-hand” all the time in various incarnations. The “I’m right and everyone else is wrong” syndrome is, unfortunately, very common.  “No one does what I tell them to do” equals “I’m perfect, they’re flawed.” “No one comes up with better solutions than me” equals “I’m brilliant and they’re stupid.” “Others don’t do nearly as much work as me” equals “I’m productive, they’re useless.” “Everyday I fight bad drivers on the way to work” equals “I’m courteous, they’re rude.” All of these are hypocritical attitudes. No one is perfect. This is not a generalized judgment; I simply mean that there is always room for improvement.  The trap of thinking you’re beyond reproach is to invite a lifestyle that will convince itself there’s no need for progress.   Those who try to position themselves into a brighter spotlight by negative promotion lose all credibility. They don’t realize their audience is  instinctively aware that they’re unwilling to become better.

I would love to think I am past this kind of behavior but I’m not. On occasion I catch myself playing the victim. My moments of “poor me” are a lot less pronounced than they used to be, but at least I have the ability to recognize them. This “role” leaves a bitter taste, I assure you.  I’ve learned  there are countermeasures for this habit.

  1. I stop trying to be better than the rest of the crowd, I simply commit to being better than I used to be.
  2. My personal standards are far beyond what others expect of me.
  3. I acknowledge where talent lies. When I’m seen as someone who gives credit where credit is due, I notice people are more eager to work as a team. Everyone wants some sort of recognition for their contributions. Sometimes nothing more than a “Thank You” makes all the difference, especially when it’s done in public. I know it does for me.

I think it’s amazing just how many don’t do this. It’s too bad that the ones who do this stand out so prominently. They are a rare breed; I wish they weren’t.

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With Love and Compassion, Daniel Andrew Lockwood